Saturday, July 24, 2010

Bubbies

Bubbies: The preferred moniker for the female breasts as popularized by several of the Real Housewives of New Jersey.

Now I know what you're thinking... Bubbies = Jewish grandmothers.
"Oy gut, you're wasting away! Have some more kugel"

Wrong! Well, at least for this post. For some strange reason, Teresa Giudice and several other stars of the Real Housewives of New Jersey have trouble, or an aversion to, saying "boobies" the correctly. As if their Jersey accents weren't interesting enough, the lovely ladies decided to add this term to their vernacular.


Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Death Grip (iPhone 4 style)

Death Grip (iPhone 4 style): Placement of one's hands on an iPhone 4 in such a manner that causes a drop in signal strength due to improper grounding of the antennae. Came into use about 5 minutes after the iPhone 4's launch in June 2010.

Pop Culture Immersion Index (PCII): 3 out of 10

While many characters throughout history have utilized a death grip
Nerd!
no one person has directly affected more people, and their contacts, like Steve Jobs/Johnny Ives. Don't get me wrong, Apple is a fantastic company that has had some really innovative designs in the past, but sticking a antennae on the handhold of the phone? Innovation that backfired. Sorta like...
Before the self-destruct button: The rebel-destruct button

After receiving gleaming reviews aside from reception issues, Apple decided they needed to do something about this uprising. So they decided to offer a free case/bumper/$30 refund for already purchased bumpers But the death grip has inspired some super parodies of everything Apple.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Drunk Slob Kabob

Drunk slob kabob: A person whose level of inebriation renders them reckless, ridiculous, and really, really drunk. Coined by Kourtney Kardashian in season 4 of Keeping Up With The Kardashians episode Blame It on the Alcohol.

Pop Culture Immersion Index (PCII): 8 out of 10
Okay, let's get this out of the way first: Rob Kardashian and Scott Disick are not bad people.

But, according to this episode, everyone can get a little out of control.
Well, almost everyone

While in Las Vegas preparing for Kim's birthday party/night where people pay more to be at a club because Kim will be there, Scott and Rob went to the hotel bar and got SLOSHED. Seriously, like smashing furniture and wrestling sloshed. This is when Kourtney, in her angriest monotone possible, told them to stop acting like drunk slob kabobs. She probably should of added "and don't go shoving money into people's mouths later", but in retrospect, there was only, like, a 25% chance that that could happen.


Actual sign

Thanks Kardashians! Your improvisational vocabulary will surely be a recurring topic on the Pop Culture Dictionary.

P.S. Season 5 starts in August 2010. Get excited!



Saturday, July 17, 2010

Jackhole


Jackhole: Portmanteau of jackass and asshole brought into popular light by Andy Cohen, who hosts Bravo's "Watch What Happens Live". Cohen likes to name a "Jackhole of the Week" highlighting any not-so-notable feat in jackholery.

Pop Culture Immersion Index (PCII): 8 out of 10

Let me start out by saying that Cohen may have the best job in TV these days. While he works extremely hard behind the scenes as Senior VP of Bravo, on screen he specializes in interviewing Bravo personalities and, more hilariously, mo
derating the Real Housewives reunion shows.


Honestly, this cartoon is only slightly crazier. Thanks to KCSCougar.

Other than keeping Bravo running, we can thank Andy for bringing Jackhole to our attention. Previous Jackholes of the Week have included.
  • BP Spokespeople
  • Chatroulette
  • A bird that pooped on his Buddha Statue
So anytime you feel like someone has done something that cause
s you to abhor them at that very moment,
Or always

keep Jackhole in mind as a possible insult. Either that, or challenge them to a duel.

Jackhole involves less blood. Probably.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Milksteak

Milksteak: The favorite food of Charlie Day on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Mentioned in the season 5 episode "The Waitress Is Getting Married". It is made by boiling steak in a mixture of milk and honey. Served best with a side of fine jellybeans (raw).

Pop Culture Immersion Index (PCII): 9 out of 10.

There are many reasons why I think Charlie Kelly is probably the greatest character in TV history,
Perfection

and his love of Milksteak is one of them. It's really a surprise that Milksteak hasn't been thought of as a staple before, as it is combined from 3 ingredients that provide the utmost nutritional balance of fat, protein, and carbs (with 1000% DV of ridiculous).

As if you didn't already know

I urge you to order a milksteak, over-hard of course, during your next meal out. Hopefully we can bring some of the culinary wisdom of Charlie Kelly into the forefront of our minds. And tongues.
I see your KFC Double Down and raise you a Milksteakwich
Spoiler Alert: I win

So thanks to Charlie (Kelly and Day), Glenn, Rob, and all the others at Sunny who bring us this vernacular delight.

Swooped

Swooped: To get stolen from one's current lover/mate by a new potential suitor.

Pop Culture Immersion Index: 8 out of 10

The Hills is finally over, but the extent of Spencer Pratt's idiocy is far too broad to ignore for the duration of this blog. So, while that demonic, inane piece of flesh is still exceedingly fresh in our minds,

Like a leech, but soul-sucking

I decided to add this entry in order to shed light on a word whose use could actually come to fruition in the days of mistresses and scandals.

Anne Boelyn: Original Swooper

So let this be a lesson to all the tabloids out there! Referring to the act of man/woman stealing as swooping will save you valuable time, and your readers can waste less of their already less than extensive brain power figuring out lots of big words and sentences.

Boelyn 2.0

P.S. Thanks to nippinaintez for a post that mentioned Swooping way back when.

Want more Hills related entries? Comment with words/sayings you want defined!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Vuvuzela

Vuvuzela: A "musical" instrument indigenous to South Africa that made its ear-splitting worldwide debut during the 2010 FIFA world cup. Much controversy ensued because of the sound.

Pop Culture Immersion Index: 1 out of 10

Honestly, there may not be a worse sound than that of a vuvuzela.

Other than 50,000 of them

Many said that vuvuzelas enhance the atmosphere and add a touch (read: blast) of South African flair to the tournament. Many more hated those many. The 2.13 ft horns come in many different varieties, so people can identify the favorite team of the nearest hearing destroyer and wish horrible things upon said club.

Now in bumblebee flavor!

Incredibly enough, despite not having thought of it and it having to do with soccer/football, Americans love the vuvuzela, or at least are trying to as evidenced by their appearance at a recent Florida Marlins game. Now while the idea of a vuvuzela seems asinine, I mean it's basically a reverse ear trumpet. Except it will make you deaf.


The Man Your Man Could Smell Like

The Man Your Man Could Smell Like: Isaiah Mustafa, known sometimes by his alias God, is the man that all men aspire to smell like. He was popularized by a series of Old Spice commercials in 2010.

Pop Culture Immersion Index: 2 out of 10

While one's exposure to pop culture, and more specifically the internet isn't hugely important to this entry, I believe that TMYMCSL's awesomeness deserves special attention. Really special. Because it was too easy, Mustafa quit the NFL to pursue a career in attractiveness full time.
Side effect: Beauty-induced blindess

Through the simultaneous combination of a mind-powered aligning of the cosmos/divine intervention/most beautiful nuclear meltdown on record Mustafa became TMYMCSL. His upper body is know the most well known in history

"So, do you do chest and tris together? What about carbs?"

and his personality is sure to net Old Spice at least a trillion in revenue over the next few weeks. He added to his already immense popularity by recently responding to questions and comments from Twitter and YouTube. That's like having your pee-wee game coached by Vince Lombardi.
Now with more copper!

So thank you oh manliest of man, most decadent of dudes, and most smellgoodiest of swingers for all the insight you offer us heathens on smelling good and taking care of the ladies. And some hilarious commercials.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Rickroll

Rickroll: A bait and switch gag in which the perpetrator promises a video/link of something awesome/relevant, and instead redirects to a video of Rick Astley's 1987 song Never Gonna Give You Up.

Pop Culture Immersion Index: 6 out of 10

Here's an example.


Congratulations! Your Rickroll cherry has been popped.

Popped hard

Unlike many washed-up celebrities whose stagnant careers were revived by an internet meme, Astley loved his restored fame, and even RickRolled the whole freakin' world when he showed up at the 2008 Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Now, the bait and switch is nothing new

Trojan Horse: The original Rickroll

Being Rickrolled proves to be frustrating, as victims are generally expecting something good, not a mediocre 80s song detailing the vastness of Rick Astley's chivalry. Or laziness. It's sort of hard to tell.
Doing nothing doesn't bring home the bacon

This is the first, but definitely not last meme included in the dictionary. Because as everyone knows, on the internet, it's not who you know/blow that's important, it's how many people make terrible YouTube responses based on you.



Speidi

Drumroll please....

I will commence this blog with a pop culture term that I believe exemplifies our current pop culture.

Speidi: a portmanteau constructed by combining the names Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, a couple featured on MTV's "reality" series The Hills .

Pop Culture Immersion Index: 4 out of 10.

Speidi
1 part Spencer Pratt
1 part Heidi Montag

Directions:
1. Mince.
2. Stir in 2 gallons silicone
3. Add a dash of collagen
4. Sprinkle in some sociopath
5. Bring to slow boil
6. Simmer 5 seasons
7. Remove from heat. Serve lukewarm, finished with soul crystals.

Less scary than real life

Speidi started dating in season two of the hills. They then set out on a conquest to ruin everything/everyone they come into contact with, sort of a reverse king Midas.
Instead of gold, emotional ruin.

"It" started out relatively normally, with fights over apartment decor and vengeful pregnancy threats, but then began raining a hellfire of terribleness the likes of which the world has rarely seen. Speidi seems to survive on a mixture of bad press, muscle milk, and blonde. Rarely is a person(s/?) universally disliked by the media, but this can be said for Speidi. Whether it's Heidi's EXTREME plastic surgery
This guy fooled more people
Unfortunately not Kryptonite

people can't get enough of talking shit on Speidi. This term may soon become outdated, as a breakup is rumored. But unfortunately, while Spencer may be out of the picture, Heidi has a new reality TV show coming up soon, so don't expect for her, whatever is left of her at least, to thankfully fall into oblivion.


P.S. Thanks to Glenn Francis at www.PacificProDigital.com for the original Spencer/Heidi pics.

The Beginning

Well, Here. We. Go. This blog is intended to be shared with the masses, but also be very enjoyable for hardcore pop culture fans. The main purpose of this blog is to take the funniest, most disgusting, horrific, shallow, wittiest, and most noteworthy tidbits from popular culture and communicate their message, impact, and virtue (whatever it may be). Just kidding. No virtue. If you're looking for virtues, go to www... .......... ....., well when I find one, I'll post it.

There are many uses for the pop culture dictionary:

A. As a gauge for a one's personal preferences.
  • I.E. If a potential mate discusses the possibility of the name "Justin Bobby" for offspring, the Pop Culture Dictionary will let you know to head in the direction of the nearest airport (international edition!)to get as far away as humanly possible from said mate.
B. As a Litmus Test for a person's knowledge of pop culture.
  • I.E. Who doesn't know what/who Speidi is? On the other hand knowledge of LeRoy Jenkins requires much further penetration of the mushy, destitute brain of pop culture.
C. As a daily source for comical pleasures.
  • I.E. This blog is sure to be hilarious, so be sure to subscribe. Email me to request hardcopies if you find the internet troublesome. But in that case, you may want to just move to North Dakota and never visit this blog again.